Life Bliss

 My emotions are fluctuating again. My number one concern is my health. I have a very, very light period since eve of April 19 until now. I am experiencing something painful in my right inner thigh, this after sitting the whole day yesterday with all my heavy weight on my legs. And then I saw the promotion of someone. I feel nothing again. Not because of her but because do I really have to upend my life migrating here in the US? I still cannot find a job. I feel so unhealthy and so big. I have nothing on my name.  But I want to end all these. I'll rebound. I'll get back in track. Health is wealth. I'll prioritize this. I walked for 30 minutes this morning. But I faltered in eating. Tomorrow, I will be mindful of my eating. I will look for work like everyday and will pray so hard to really make it here in the US. First things first. My daughter to find work too. And then God, please lead the way how my daughter will be with us here the soonest. And what we can do so she is p...

 I miss my daughter. :(  I feel like crying now. I miss her so much. Can I really make it through without being with my daughter?  It's been a roller coaster ride for me the past days. I've been worried about my bloodwork results especially my WBC, platelet, MPV, and my microalbumin. I was appeased because I know for a fact that I had infection and allergy during my blood test and that I was dehydrated and over fast since the phlebotomist was not on time. These conditions definitely have an effect in a blood work as attested too by my mom and my cousin who is a nurse and of course, my research and my experience before that I had my blood test when I had a cold/cough. My WBC was high too but the succeeding routine blood tests are all normal.  And above all, I just let it go and trust that God is keeping me healthy especially now that I am in another phase of my life. So I was good. And I mean really good.  And then yesterday, I had my very, very, very light perio...

So far, I am still feeling stable in the sense that I am aware of my thoughts and feelings. It feels good also if I get to do the things I set out to do. I miss my daughter though. The thought that we won't be physically together for years is still unthinkable for me but I am not overwhelmed by the thought. Maybe because I am already aware of my thoughts. I have resolved that whatever I do here, it will be for my daughter. And that gives me peace.  Thank You, God, for guiding me. Please, please, let all things come from You.  Our house in QC, please God, let us know what to do because I want it because it's ours. Please help us God on what to do.  Help me also to just do the things I need to do.  - House improvement - Get a good job asap - Retain my job in the Philippines - Help my daughter get a job - Save - Buy the condo unit - Healthy body, sound mind for all of us - Buy properties as investment - Always have a heart with gratitude Thank You, God, for the stabilit...

Getting there, or am I? I would like to believe I am getting there, getting to the acceptance part that I need to be where I am now.And as I've mentioned in my previous entry, it even feels like I am wanting to be here.  Isn't it that I prayed that God leads me to where I should be, to where His plans are because those plans shall be for the best for me and my family? Not mine, but God's plans. Yes, when you don't know what to do anymore, you surrender to God. Everything I do now, I give to God.  I cried a little last night. I was able to control it. I felt helpless. I thought of my daughter. I thought of how I will make it here. I thought of just being with my daughter will make me the happiest. But you see, whatever I do here, my biggest motivation is giving my daughter a comfortable life, making my retirement as comfortable and as fun as I could. I've made so many mistakes in my decisions because I didn't look ahead, I didn't plan. But it's no use to ...

It's the 1st of April. And I just realized as I type my first sentence that it's April Fool's Day today. Haha! It does not matter. I just feel like writing down my thoughts and feelings now. I just want to keep to myself all that's in my mind now.  I can't count how many blogs I already made including blogs like this one where I pour down whatever I want to write. But most of them didn't really prosper. Maybe now this will progress. I even thought of creating a Tiktok account, with just texts and backgrounds of places, and music, remain anonymous, but still interact. I want interaction just to have insights of how other people think, or feel, with my situation. Maybe I will come across a caring individual with words of wisdom. Who knows. Sometimes our magic thoughts come in unexpected situations or unlikely people, or from a stranger.  I'm at a crossroads now. It pains me that at my age I am still at a crossroads. I am either here or there. I have nothing on...